Snakenator1
2nd October 2015, 12:05 PM
So something happened today that I thought would make a very funny story for you lot or possibly cringe at. And since WZ doesn't have one of these threads I thought this story would be the perfect time to create one.
In case you're wondering; the "Today I F*cked up..." is a discussion thread that originated on Reddit (don't quote me on that) where people go to tell stories of how they have caused misery upon themselves for the entertainment and amusement of their friends. Stories on these discussions can be very funny as I have a read a few and they're damn hilarious sometimes. Since something happened to me that made my entire family laugh at me I thought now is the time to post one onto WZ.
So here we go.
Dear WZ, today I f*cked up by... Turning on a tap
It all happened this morning
So about an hour ago I walk into my kitchen to find breakfast pots in the sink that had yet to be cleaned, being the person I am I decided to wash-up the pots while everyone else goes and do their own things. So the first thing I did was clear the draining board like anyone else would, no problems so I next gather any dirty dishes in the kitchen so they can be cleaned to. However I touched some grease from the tray as some of my family had bacon for breakfast.
So I go to wash my hands, and then things went wrong.
As I turn on the tap I look up through the window into our garden to see our little Westie called Ben having a wander, so my natural instinct was to keep an eye on him so he doesn't do anything stupid. And then it happened, I suddenly feel a crunchy feeling between my hands as I am washing them and next thing I know my heart starts having palpitations as I don't know what had happened. So I look down to see what happened:
A Tegenaris domestica (Common European Domestic house Spider) had fallen into my hands from the tap. The little bugger must have taken shelter from inside the tap overnight.
So now my hand was covered in spider bits, now I must mention that I do not suffer from Arachnophobia, in fact I a referred to as "Pest Control" in my house as I am the one who deals with house invaders such as spiders. But nothing could prepare me for what happened next.
As my hands were covered in dead spider I failed to notice that this particular specimen was in fact.......
A mother
Suddenly hundreds of baby spiders erupted from the corpse onto my hand and next thing I know is that my heart sank in horror. Due to sheer horror I screamed in panic and immediately started washing my hands and arms as the tiny spiders were racing around on me. By this point the dead mother fell into the sink where the other spiders escaped from the sink and onto the floor. To add insult to injury was how I wasn't wearing socks so soon the baby spiders were on my feet. Once I cleared my arms I hopped out of the kitchen where all of my family were in shock and laughing at me kinda hobble out of the kitchen.
Straight afterwards I cleared myself of the horrors, I went into our lounge to take-in what had just happened.
Then I got a brush and started killing the horrible little f*ckers left in the kitchen as my revenge. And now I am here.
I'm never going to sleep again nor leave a tap unchecked :P
So yeah that is how I f*cked up today, if you guys enjoyed my misery then your welcome.
Also if you ever have such a story you would like to share of how you f*cked up, this is where it should be.
I am now going to spend the day recovering from the nightmare I just had...
In case you're wondering; the "Today I F*cked up..." is a discussion thread that originated on Reddit (don't quote me on that) where people go to tell stories of how they have caused misery upon themselves for the entertainment and amusement of their friends. Stories on these discussions can be very funny as I have a read a few and they're damn hilarious sometimes. Since something happened to me that made my entire family laugh at me I thought now is the time to post one onto WZ.
So here we go.
Dear WZ, today I f*cked up by... Turning on a tap
It all happened this morning
So about an hour ago I walk into my kitchen to find breakfast pots in the sink that had yet to be cleaned, being the person I am I decided to wash-up the pots while everyone else goes and do their own things. So the first thing I did was clear the draining board like anyone else would, no problems so I next gather any dirty dishes in the kitchen so they can be cleaned to. However I touched some grease from the tray as some of my family had bacon for breakfast.
So I go to wash my hands, and then things went wrong.
As I turn on the tap I look up through the window into our garden to see our little Westie called Ben having a wander, so my natural instinct was to keep an eye on him so he doesn't do anything stupid. And then it happened, I suddenly feel a crunchy feeling between my hands as I am washing them and next thing I know my heart starts having palpitations as I don't know what had happened. So I look down to see what happened:
A Tegenaris domestica (Common European Domestic house Spider) had fallen into my hands from the tap. The little bugger must have taken shelter from inside the tap overnight.
So now my hand was covered in spider bits, now I must mention that I do not suffer from Arachnophobia, in fact I a referred to as "Pest Control" in my house as I am the one who deals with house invaders such as spiders. But nothing could prepare me for what happened next.
As my hands were covered in dead spider I failed to notice that this particular specimen was in fact.......
A mother
Suddenly hundreds of baby spiders erupted from the corpse onto my hand and next thing I know is that my heart sank in horror. Due to sheer horror I screamed in panic and immediately started washing my hands and arms as the tiny spiders were racing around on me. By this point the dead mother fell into the sink where the other spiders escaped from the sink and onto the floor. To add insult to injury was how I wasn't wearing socks so soon the baby spiders were on my feet. Once I cleared my arms I hopped out of the kitchen where all of my family were in shock and laughing at me kinda hobble out of the kitchen.
Straight afterwards I cleared myself of the horrors, I went into our lounge to take-in what had just happened.
Then I got a brush and started killing the horrible little f*ckers left in the kitchen as my revenge. And now I am here.
I'm never going to sleep again nor leave a tap unchecked :P
So yeah that is how I f*cked up today, if you guys enjoyed my misery then your welcome.
Also if you ever have such a story you would like to share of how you f*cked up, this is where it should be.
I am now going to spend the day recovering from the nightmare I just had...